Focus on Your Future, Not the Past

By Natalie Alexander

All people react to events in life very differently. Sometimes things happen in life that can change you and those around you forever, but it’s actually how you deal with these things that say a lot about who you are. Another factor here is where you place your focus. It can be easy to dwell on the past, and get stuck wondering what might have been, but is that really what you should do? Here are some ways you can practice self-care by focusing on your future, not on your past.

You’re Still Here

When it comes to reflecting on past events, there’s one thing that you can always find some appreciation for. You’re still here. That means that whatever has come before you, whether it was a massive obstacle or defeat, that event didn’t end you. You’re still here, and that says a lot about how resilient you can be. It’s important to realize that people are remarkably good at coming out on top of what they might find themselves up against. The fact that you can read this right now is a testimony to that. You might want to know what comes next, and that’s completely normal — the next steps to try should be to find things that bring you more joy and happiness in the present time. 

Practice Gratitude

The first step to getting grounded and centered would be for you to spend some time focusing on what you are grateful for. There are lots of ways to do this, but one of the best would be to write a gratitude journal. The gratitude journal will give you the ability to look at the list after you have completed it. That will allow you to see everything that you can think of at the present moment in a positive way instead of the things you wish had taken place in the past. Pick ten to fifteen of your favorite things that you are grateful for and make a list of those things a few times a week.

Accept Negativity as Lessons

It can be frustrating when you put time and effort into a certain relationship only to find that the person or persons were never what or who they said they were. The experience can be jarring, and it might take a long for you to get over, but the more effort you make to get over it, the happier you will be in the long run. The healthiest way to look at these kinds of things is to treat them the way you would treat a lesson you learned in a school program. They’re not always the most pleasant, but you can take what you learned about people in that situation and use it to protect you from similar happenings in the future.

But it doesn’t mean that you color every interaction with other people with the same feelings towards them as the people you encountered in the past, it’s more about awareness and avoiding giving people the same kind of unchecked power over you, and your emotions. Being completely frozen with fear and building a wall around yourself will be counterproductive.

Learn to See a Better Future

When you start to see yourself and your future in a more positive light, it’s a lot easier to see possibilities that can be open to you. Instead of thinking about where things went wrong, you can choose to use past experiences to prepare you for the kinds of things that can go wrong, and be ready for them instead of taken by surprise. When you have a better outlook on things, it’s a lot easier to attract more positive things in life. If you’ve committed to making a few positive changes in life that can help you achieve goals, then it’s important to figure out how to lay the path that allows you to get there.

Plan for Future Goals with a List

To solidify your goals, it’s a great idea to make a list. That will allow you to see all of the things that you should focus on and take action each day. The more focused on those things you become, the more likely it will be that you are motivated to make sure that they come true. Having the list also means that you can put the goals into an order of most important to least important so that you know what you should be spending most of your time pursuing.

Distance Yourself from Toxic People

This subject may be the hardest part of this article for a lot of people. A lot of people tie their worth to the number of relationships they have, even when the people in their lives aren’t the most positive or supportive people. These people can be a huge impediment to your progress, both professionally and personally. The best thing to do, is to assess each relationship you have and find out if those friends have been toxic, self-esteem damaging people, or if they’ve been good, uplifting friends that have helped you see yourself in a positive way.